I used to be a writer, but haven't been writing for a few years now, so I am starting a new blog where I can free write or do writing exercises to try to get back into the habit of daily writing. So here it goes...
Write a scene between your parents (living or deceased, it doesn’t matter) talking about you and your life:
Ok. To make any conversation between my parents make any sense to an outside observer, you would have to have some important information about them. They are divorced. Have been for many years. My mother is remarried. She is also schizophrenic. That's not a joke or a euphemism for something. She is pretty fuckin' crazy. My dad is an alcoholic and may be slightly autistic, I'm not sure. So let me give this a shot:
Dad: Have you spoken to Devin lately?
Mom: Who?
Dad: You know, your son?
Mom: Oh yeah, Devin, I keep forgetting that he changed his name.
Dad: Yeah, the ungrateful little bastard. Why did he do that anyway?
Mom: Probably so he didn't have to bear the shame of having your last name. I know I couldn't.
Dad: You can't even remember your name, you crazy ho.
Mom: Did you just call me a ho, or was that the voices in my head?
Dad: Must've been the voices.
Hmm....Not really realistic. I seem to be taking liberties by giving my mother a better vocabulary and making my father intelligible. More realistically, it would sound like this:
Dad: Mumble jumble vershackle blunk.
Mom: Did you hear that?
Dad: Jackle flackle blamber do?
Mom: My rice just called me a bitch.
Dad: Dapper dimbow rice is wise bleet.
Mom: Yeah, can I get a double cheeseburger and a Diet Pepsi?
Dad: Devin dusty buster bag of flour.
Mom: I like horses.
